In his own words, from Don’s personal history written for his family, “I stirred things up a bit and I think I did some good while making my fair share of mistakes. Although I think most of my battles were good ones, you never really know why you do things. And that’s so, even when you can give reasons for what you’ve done. But at least I tried to live with some success by this statement of Henry David Thoreau: ‘Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.’” Donald Stephen Coburn lived a most remarkable life from April 18, 1939 to August 7, 2024. Inspired by his motto “Carpe Diem,” Don seized each day in a life filled with hard work, love of the law, devotion to family and his dogs, and great pleasure in exploring nature, learning, and the arts.
Don, and his older brother Paul, were raised in New York City by Doris Kramer Coburn and H. Jules Coburn. He attended the Little Red School House and Elisabeth Irwin High School in Manhattan, followed by Cornell University, class of ’61. Late in his senior year, Don directed an award-winning production in which he cast a sophomore coed, Ellen Dee Jacobs. They fell in love before graduation and were married the following year in September, 1962, at her home in Livingston.
Don and Ellen began married life in Lawton, Oklahoma while he completed a commission in the U.S. Army. In 1963, they moved to Philadelphia so Don could attend the University of Pennsylvania Law School. Their first son, Jeffrey Bruce, was born there in 1966, a few days before his dad became a cum laude graduate. Relocating to New Jersey, Don began practicing law at a firm founded by his father-inlaw and mentor, Nathan L. Jacobs. Don and Ellen’s second son, James Benjamin, was born in 1969, when they moved to 16 Wychwood Road, the family’s home for 35 years.
In 1976, the couple purchased an 18th century vacation home in Monterey, Massachusetts. The family spent countless retreats there with family and friends over the next five decades. A true dog lover, Don shared many wonderful hours in Monterey, walking his dogs and napping with them on the couch.
Don ran for public office, serving as a member of the Town Council, the Mayor of Livingston, and a Delegate to the 1976 National Democratic Party Convention. One of his proudest moments was leading a successful negotiation as Essex County prosecutor to end a prisoner uprising and hostage situation at the county jail in Newark in 1980.
When he was appointed to the New Jersey bench in 1981, Don knew he had found his calling. His legal career spanned more than 50 years and included roles as county prosecutor, superior court judge, and appellate division judge. Don was universally admired for his pursuit of honesty, decency and fairness in the application of the law. His intricate legal knowledge led to groundbreaking opinions that were upheld by the New Jersey Supreme Court.
Don tried retirement but so missed judging that he returned soon after as a recall judge. One hiatus occurred so that he could volunteer for the Obama campaign, but after the election he was back at it again. In 2016, Don and Ellen moved full time to their Monterey home. There Don was elected to the select board, where he was the driving force in getting Monterey town employees their largest raise ever.
Don loved how good he looked in his cowboy hats and greatly appreciated the compliments he received from passers-by. He loved Lake Garfield, spending many hours on the beach playing bridge with friends, swimming, and sailing with his sons. He did the New York Times crossword puzzle each day in felt pen, and, like his father before him, never refused a chocolate dessert or a slice of cherry pie. When his grandsons, Beckett Jules and Myles Orion were born, his demeanor melted into mush, and he could be heard singing to the babies as they pulled on his formidable mustache.
Don was predeceased by his parents and his brother, Paul. He will be deeply missed by Ellen, Jeff, Jim and his wife Katy, and their sons Beckett and Myles, along with extended family and many friends, who will remember his humor and wisdom and his great heart. Carpe Diem.
Donald S. Coburn
